T T Rangarajan's note on “Are you doing justice to the primary responsibilities of the role?”

My dear readers,

“Change the physiotherapist every three weeks.  Once a relationship is built between you and your physiotherapist, he will no more push you.  He tends to sympathise with your Aah and Ouch.  And without pushing, physiotherapy does not work,” said the Neuro Physician.  “But my physiotherapist is a very affectionate boy,” replied the patient.  The doctor reacted, “Then adopt him as your son.  Right now you don’t need a good boy, but you need a good physiotherapist.”

Every role has some inherent primary responsibilities.  No matter what else you do, if you falter in your primary responsibilities of that role, then eventually the relationship will fall apart.

I know how it feels after doing so much for your adolescent daughter and then to get to hear from her, “You don’t love

me.”  As a parent you are so focused on their development and you do your best for her - best schools, best coaching classes, private study rooms, and what not.  But if you are not there to respect her emotions, if you don’t have the time to have conversations with her, if your lap isn’t available when she is low, if your hands don’t reach out when her tears trickle down, if you don’t give her the feeling that she is more important to you than her performances… then you have failed in your primary responsibilities as a parent.  You have donned the role of a teacher and a coach, but where is the parent?  On the contrary, no matter how affectionate a teacher or a coach may be, if they do not focus on the development and performance of the child, then they fail in the primary responsibilities of their chosen role.

It doesn’t matter how beautiful you look, as a receptionist, you need to sound beautiful on the phone.  It doesn’t matter how smart you are dressed and how well you talk, as a salesman, you have to achieve your targets.  What the organisation needs is a CEO who is loyal to his chair and is focused on creating a productive organisation, and not a good Samaritan who sympathises with the non-performers and tolerates inefficiencies in the organisation.  The driver may be good with the children, but if he isn’t good on the steering wheel?  What if a Guru talks and talks, but is never able to take the seeker closer to God?  What if a counsellor listens and listens, but isn’t able to offer solutions?  What if the architect, in attempting to please the client, compromises on the entire concept and also the final creation?

And, isn’t it also true, no matter how arrogant the doctor is, we still go to him because we know he is a saviour and we feel secure in his hands.  After all, what is primary?  A tasty medicine that doesn’t work, or a bitter medicine that works!

The success of a role does not depend on what all you do.  It only depends on how well you execute the primary responsibilities of the role.  Don’t cry foul, when people blame you for not doing justice to the relationship.  Stop quoting all that you have done for the relationship.  Shut Up!  Instead, simply introspect, “Am I doing justice to the primary responsibilities of the role?”

Imagine a Frozen Thoughts with great layouts, superb pictures, immaculate print quality and no content value…

Loving you,

T.T. Rangarajan
(Excited to be alive...)

: From VOICE OF LOVE column, FROZEN THOUGTHS February 2011 issue.

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