Friday 25 February 2011

RAJAN's answer for "How much ever I try, my self-image is very low? How to improve the same? "


Answer from T T Rangarajan ( VOICE OF LOVE): 


In growing up from a child to an adult, all of us have been handed over images by our parents, teachers, society and peer groups based on how they`ve perceived us. The extent to which we have been sensitive to these reflections made by the society on us determines the image we hold of ourselves. What the world has handed over to us is a biography, their view of us. As an adult, it is time for us to script our own view of ourselves which would be our autobiography. Edit, delete and need be add to these handed over images and transform them into a self-constructed self-image.

To build a healthy self-image,
 you have to do some stocktaking. Be sincere and genuine in this stocktaking. Please do not take these exercises lightly. It will have a dramatic positive impact on your life.

To begin with, prepare a list of what you consider as your character strengths. Your mind will consistently remind you about some weaknesses of yours, but ignore it. Remember, this exercise is purely to take stock of your character strengths. This is STRENGTH stocktaking and not WEAKNESS stocktaking.

Ignore this intrusion of the mind and list every perceivable character strength of yours. They may be, `Ability to wake up exactly at the time you want to wake up`, `Having never spoken ill of anybody behind their back`, `Willpower`, `Honesty`, `Punctuality`, `Resilience`, `Refraining from some sensual habits`, `Having triumphed over momentary temptations`, etc... Don`t judge whether they are small or big. Let them run into pages, but yet list them all. Character strength is character strength. Let them run into pages but yet list them all.

Prepare a second list of all the things that you are capable of doing which someone in this world cannot do. `I know cycling and I know to ride a bike.` It may sound very insignificant, but do you know that more than 70% of the world population cannot do it. `I can read, write and speak in more than one language.` List down everything that you are able to assess, recall and perceive as the things which you are capable of doing and some others cannot.

Finally, prepare a list of what you consider as your achievements from your past. `I helped a blind man to cross the road`, `I donated blood at a time of crisis`, `I cleared all my arrears in one attempt`, `I had grown in my salary 33 times in 4 years`, `I was a champion salesman`, `I gave up smoking after being an addict to it for a decade`, `I was a college topper`, etc... Don`t leave out on anything. Don`t overlook anything. List everything that you consider as the unforgettable landmarks of your life. The time and effort you invest on the above three different stocktakings can indeed be one of the most valuable investments of your life. The very experience of this exercise can be transforming.

Will quantifying my character strengths, capabilities and achievements improve my self-image? Water will not boil at `0.01` degree Centigrade but when `0.01` degree Centigrade is over `99.99` degree Centigrade, it will. The law of life is that, at a certain point, the quantitative difference will make a qualitative difference.

Quantify your character strengths, capabilities and achievements. I promise you that you will emerge with a new positive and healthy self-image. You will discover a new you in you.

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