Question: One of the girls working with me is 14 years younger to me. She recently lost her father and I see a daughter in her. We started exchanging SMS and now she has started calling me ‘Daddy’. Shockingly, my wife is against this relationship. She believes I am getting emotionally involved and she is also convinced that one day I will cross the line. It looks like I will be put in a position to choose between the two. But I love them both, of course, in different ways. Kindly guide me.T T Rangarajan (Voice of Love): Visualise the solar system. Visualise the sun in the middle and all the planets orbiting around the sun. With the same model let us view our life, our roles and our relationship with our roles. You represent the sun and the roles you play represent the planets. The time you invest in a relationship, coupled with the emotional bondage you have for that relationship defines the status of the relationship. Higher the investment of time and emotions on a relationship, the closer they become to you… they represent the planets closer to the sun in this relationship model. They become your
Mars, Earth, Venus and Mercury. Lesser the investment of time and emotions on a relationship, the more they get distanced from you… they represent the planets away from the sun in this relationship model. They become your Jupiter, Saturn and Uranus.
Relationships for which there are overflowing emotions and there is a lot of interaction and also lot of investment of time… there is a sense of ownership towards that relationship; these are called your Mercurian roles - the very strength and the very weakness of your life. Mercurian roles have a great influence on the emotional stability and instability of your life. Mercurian roles enjoy the lion’s share of your time. It will be difficult to define your life without a reference to your Mercurian roles. They are not the other. They become your natural extension. They are almost you.
When a new relationship in your life, say starts as Jupiter, but with time is inching towards Venus or Mercury, this very progression will emotionally unsettle your existing Venus and Mercurian roles. You will end up dealing with a lot of emotional issues. The arrival of a new Mercury is not even needed; just the possibility of a new Mercury is enough to unsettle those who are very close to you. As there are only 24 hours, the only way you can entertain a new Mercury or Venus is by taking away a part of the time and also attention from some of your existing Mercury and Venus. This makes your existing Mercurian and Venus roles very insecure… rightfully so. That’s why when you develop a new friendship and also get obsessive with this new relationship, it emotionally tears apart your existing relationships.
Out of your over excitement for a new found relationship, you straightaway give Mercury status to a new relationship. You create an overnight Mercury in your life. Now, in order to find time for this new Mercury, you will have to reduce your time and attention to some of your existing Mercurian roles. This will cause tremendous heartaches to all your existing Mercurian roles. You will put your near and dear ones through sleepless nights, you would get emotionally drained and finally, helplessly you will drop the overnight Mercury leaving it with lasting hurt.
Relationships that start as Uranus or Saturn and over a period of time gradually grow into Mars, Earth and Venus are the most stable of relationships. The longer a relationship takes to build into an intimate one, the more stable the relationship becomes. Relationships should never be like the overnight plants which grow at sensational pace and die with the same sensational pace. Relationships should be like the trees that live over a century. They take a lot of time in their formative years to grow, but are stable enough to weather the storms for a lifetime. At least with relationships, never try to do in 10 months what can be done in 10 years and never attempt to do in 10 days what can be done in 10 months.
When a relationship progressively grows into Mercury, though it may take time, it will happen without unsettling your existing Mercurian roles. Such relationships alone survive the test of time. So, I can be conclusive in saying, Mercury status should never be given. It has to be earned.
May you live your life in such a way that your heart and the heart of your loved ones always feel protected! May you live your life in such a way that the sun - that’s you - never feels claustrophobic! Nothing in the solar system suffers for space. May you life your live in such a way that there is as much harmony, order and precision in your relationships as it is in our solar system.
: Taken from ‘Clarity is power’ column of FROZEN THOUGHTS.
: Courtesy – Frozen thoughts Magazine.
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